myth debunked: polyamory
we live in a world where monogamous relationships are the only kind of relationship that have been promoted. but, with the help of social media, polyamory has become a more discussed topic. and as much as this is a good thing, it has also led to a lot of misconceptions surrounding the topic. as a polyamorous person myself, i thought i would take the time to help debunk some of these myths!
polyamory is just an excuse to cheat
when we think about cheating in traditional monogamous relationships, it's one partner being unfaithful to their partner by having a romantic or emotional relationship with someone outside of their relationship. it's a betrayal of trust and is extremely hurtful, but just because polyamory includes multiple people does not mean that these individuals are excluded from experiencing this. polyamorous people can be cheated on as well because having this kind of relationship relies on two things: consent and communication. this means that all parties must be aware of and consent to what is happening. one partner cannot go out and have sex with a random individual without their partner knowing because that would still count as cheating.
polyamory is just about the sex
the word polyamory means wanting to have romantic relationships with more than one person, not sexual. yes, sex may play a part in these relationships, like it does in a lot of romantic relationships, but it is not the top priority. the top priorities, however, are building emotional and romantic connections with one's partners. having these connections can be really meaningful, but to attribute it to just wanting to have multiple hook-ups is not accurate by any means.
polyamorous people don't get jealous
if you asked a polyamorous person if they have ever been jealous and they say no, they are lying! jealousy is a basic emotion that humans experience, so it is only natural for all of us, including polyamorous individuals, to experience this. while dealing with this emotion, it is best to communicate what you are feeling with your partner. ask for some extra affection and affirmation from them, set boundaries on how much information you both are receiving about each other's partners, work through what you're feeling, and be kind to yourself!
Written by Ally Lanchez, Summer & Fall 2023 Intern